January 2012
76 posts
A conversation at the grownup table, as imagined...
MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.
DAD: O.K.
GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.
DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.
UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.
DAD: We all are.
MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.
DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.
MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.
FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!
DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.
MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!
DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!
MOM: Now everything is fine.
DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.
MOM: There was a big sex.
FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!
(Everybody laughs.)
MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!
GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?
ALL: Yes.
GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.
December 2011
67 posts
Saved from Myself
colporteur:
by Beau Sia
I once stopped myself from committing suicide. I treated myself to a banana split and a porno afterwards.
3 tags
i have been having so much trouble discerning certain situations of my life between dreams and reality lately. my mind has become as fucking mundane as the life it leads and no longer has the will to concoct strange and perverse dream scenarios
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a chameleon (oliver roscoe purcell m.d.) crawled up my hairs today
oh god, oh man, i just fucking love my friends so much. it strains my heart. i wish i could do everything for them. i wish i could buy them everything they’ve ever ever wanted, i wish i could bring erin and davis’s dad back, i wish i could just make life the best thing ever for them, because that’s what they’ve done for me
being sick for christmas was perhaps the greatest gift of all. now i get to stay home all day! yay my life
this is not sarcasm
i wrote a fun cute love song that doesn’t apply to me at all and is totally irrelevant to my whole life situation
1 tag
first song nailed on the new electric guitar:
elephants - warpaint
“You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.”
– Tina Fey (via forlovers)
1 tag
1 tag
if people consider you to be manipulative, then you’re horrible at it
you need to be so good that people have no idea
i really want to make some new friends and do something different
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impromptu and very quiet iphone-recorded cover of...
i love being with erin and davis when we go crazy and roll around and laugh at nothing
first semester of “college” is over, and i have until february to try and be a little bit productive
maybe i’ll finally start that webcomic, or finally write some more music, or finally start painting again, or finally get that film developed, or finally reconnect with some blown-off friends, or finally put together my LCAD portfolio, or finally get a job
but i’ll...
well i’m all grown up now
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do the eldery couples still kiss and hug and grab their big wrinkly skin so tough so wrinklywrinkwrinkwrinkly rough?
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her name is barbra
a bonne day, a bonne bonne day indeed
i could cuddle forever when it’s cold
cookedspells:
so much wasted time
if i had it back
i’d only waste it again and again
making sweet potato biscuits and honey butter. I’M A REAL SOUTHERN MAMA
“Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given...”
– edward gorey (via kathbuckley)
fuckin god damn sleep, i love you so much but i wish you were not necessary
tonight's thoughts
there’s a fuckin gang of raccoons just meandering around my house somehow. they must have had to run across the pacific coast highway from the bay, then cross the bridge to get to balboa island, and now they’re just chillin… straight up chillin raccoons. they’re so fucking cute, like tiptoeing bear cats.
save for the occasional emotionally charged outburst of devastation,...
i wish i was really wealthy, almost exclusively so i could buy really great gifts for my friends and family
i feel so entitled to have a whole two blogs dedicated to my menial life. i wonder how i’d act if my life weren’t so formulaic and boring. i’d probably be too distracted by life to write about it to 7 followers
